


i'm so in love with you, and i hope you'll know-

by JMonCheri



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: A Bit of Fluff, Alzheimer's Disease, Angst, Established Relationship, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I'm so sorry, M/M, Memory Loss, Post-Canon, VictUuri, a bit of humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-10-02 16:04:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10222118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JMonCheri/pseuds/JMonCheri
Summary: Viktor wakes up in a hospital bed and a brown eyed man walks in, greeting him with a kiss on his forehead.Viktor doesn't know who this man is.





	

 

Viktor thinks of cardboard... and mesh wire.

 

Cardboard because that's what his eyelids felt like as he tried to pry them open. Mesh wire because his back felt like it's gone through hell and back repeatedly.

 

What does mesh wire have to do with hell, you may ask? Honestly, Viktor does not know either. Mesh wire  _could_ be pretty damn dangerous, come to think of it.

 

Viktor makes an effort to raise his head from the ridiculously fluffed pillows to look at his surroundings. His back may have felt like hell, but he may be in heaven. He is, however, taken aback by the lack of clouds  and the abundance of white hospital paraphernalia.

 

He's disappointed because he's always wanted to see rainbows and cherubs and angels, not an IV drip or some weird computer.

 

"Vitya? Are you up-"

 

He's wrong. With that sweet voice, he's sure there  _are_ angels around somewhere-

 

A door swings open and sure enough God in the form of a man peeks in with some sort of shyness that Viktor could only feign as adorableness. The man pushes his blue glasses up his face as he smiles, warm enough to make Viktor swoon.

 

"Hey, sleepyhead." The man proceeds to tiptoe in, walking to Viktor's bed and placing a small little peck on his forehead. "I didn't know you were already up-"

 

"Who are you?"

 

Viktor did not know who this man is. Sure, he may be cute and has a nice voice but it's moving a little too fast, even for Viktor.

 

However, he feels guilty as a sort of look crawls itself up the man's face.

 

Viktor knows that look too well. He'd seen it countless of times. Where the eyebrows automatically move back to their normal position and the mouth falters and the eyes lose that certain shine. It's not a look that could be noticed easily, you could feign it off as a simple slowed down version of a deadpan.

 

That was a look of a person who is used to pain, and is enduring it now.

 

"Oh." The man says, mouth barely moving. "Oh."

 

Viktor hisses a little as he squirms to remove the mesh wire in his spine. The man notices his discomfort, and pushes a little button by his bed. Viktor is filled with some sort of childlike wonder as the bed automatically moves itself into a sitting position.

 

Viktor groans in satisfaction when the horrible, horrible, mesh wire pops out of his spine.

 

"Better?" The man says, mouth smiling but eyes still holding that pain.

 

Viktor smiles, and nods.

 

"Does your head hurt?"

 

Viktor shakes his head.

 

"Are you dizzy?"

 

Viktor shakes his head.

 

"Do you need anything or-"

 

"Why do you keep asking me silly questions?" Viktor asks, teasing smile on his face. "Are you a doctor? You're not wearing a fancy lab coat or anything-"

 

The man chuckles, Viktor can't help but smile as a little bit of shine finds its way back up this mans eyes. Sure, he doesn't know who he is, but for some reason he wants to make this man happy.

 

For some reason, he doesn't know what.

 

"No, I'm not a doctor." He smiles, a little sad. "You don't really remember me?"

 

Viktor frowns, eyebrows scrunching up in thought. He looks through his brain and he only finds puppies and ice skating. "No, I'm sorry, I don't."

 

The man smiles, looking forlorn. "That's... That's alright. It's alright."

 

"Why would I remember you?" Viktor asks, lips pursing as his eyes narrow. 

 

The brown eyed man sighs as he sits on one of those hospital chairs. "I... We... uh, we're very close."

 

"Close?" Viktor thinks for a moment. "If we were close, I would've remembered you. Why can't I remember you?"

 

The man smiles, it's a smile that Viktor hates. A pained smile, like Satan had just pinched this man's heart and he has to smile or he'll die. Like he had to deal with life's debauchery and grin while doing so. 

 

"That's what I ask too."

 

Viktor is a little surprised, his gaze landing on the man a few feet across from him. 

 

"Oh..." Viktor's gaze tries to travel elsewhere, across the room, out the windows, down his hands which were on his lap-

 

"Holy-" Viktor gasps, his right hand flying up to his eye level to observe the glittering gold band around his finger. "I'm married? Since when?!" He asks, and surprisingly, he asks in some sort of awe, like he was married to some mythical fae creature.

 

The man cracks a smile. "You've been married for eight years." He rests his elbow on his knee, resting his chin on his palm as he gazes upon Viktor. "On April 5, 2017. You had a ceremony by the sea, and every single one of your friends came along."

 

Viktor's jaw drops in awe, eyes still continuing to examine the golden band around his finger. "Whoah, that's  _exactly_ what my dream wedding sounds like!" He beams at the man. "Where's my..."

 

The question dies out from his mouth.  _Where's my husband_ comes out, but something else pops into his mind...

 

_Who's my husband?_

 

"Your husband?" The man asks, gaze still on Viktor and never leaving. "Why? Do you remember him?"

 

Viktor feels some sort of sting when he hears the question.

 

"Uh... That's the problem." Viktor says, fiddling the golden ring around his finger. His eyes widen as he feels some sort of panic creep its way up Viktor's heart."I don't... I don't remember him. I... Why can't I-"

 

"Sh, shh..." The man says, scooting closer and placing a gentle hand on Viktor's arm. "It's alright. It's okay if you don't remember."

 

Viktor does not know why this man is so unreasonably calm. There were lots of things to take note of, to be frank. He was wondering why he was not acting reasonably to the fact that he was  _married_ and apparently doesn't remember his spouse  _or_ the fact that he got married in the first place.

 

"Why can't I remember?" Viktor breathes out, eyes wide as he looks to the man for some sort of answer. "If I chose to stay and cherish someone for the rest of my life... Why can't I remember him? Why? I can't-"

 

"It happens to some people." The man says calmly, voice laced with sadness. "People forget the little things, which is normal. Then... Some people forget the big things too."

 

"Am I one of those people?" Viktor asks, eyes wide. The man nods.

 

"But it's okay." The man says, smiling a little. "You don't mean to forget."

 

"But I don't  _want_ to forget." Viktor whines helplessly.

 

The man smiles softly.

 

"I know."

 

"What about my husband?" Viktor asks, a little desperate to latch unto a lost memory. "What... What's he like? Maybe if you tell me enough... Maybe I'd be able to remember. Please."

 

The man thinks for a moment, eyes a little unreadable.

 

"Your husband... He thought he was weak, alright?"

 

Viktor blinks.

 

"He thought he was weak, and... unworthy. Until one day, you looked at him in the eye and said 'Yuuri, you are not weak'." He says the last line in a gruff, Russian accent and Viktor giggles, which makes the man smile. "And... And that helped him,  _you_ helped him. He... He can't thank you enough."

 

Viktor sits back, eyes unfocused as he stares out the window with a soft smile on his face. "His name's Yuuri?" He whispers, smile growing. "It's a lovely name."

 

The man in front of him smiles. "You always tell him that."

 

"I do?" Viktor asks, gaze now on the man. "Tell me, what do we do? I mean... How are we? As a couple?"

 

The man thinks for a moment, brown eyes flitting with memories that Viktor could see but not understand. Oh, how he envied for those memories. 

 

"Both of you... Both of you are in love." The man says wistfully, voice laced with adoration as he smiles softly. His brown eyed gaze falls on the window, watching the soft flakes of snow fall down daintily. "So,  _so_ , in love."

 

"You wake him up every morning with a kiss, you help him in making dinner even though you can't cook for shit, you went through your dog's death together, you both picked out a new puppy at the shelter, you both never last too long in a fight because eventually you'd miss each other." He says this like he is breathless, quickly losing air but he is yet to say so many things. "You both are so disgustingly, irrevocably, in love, it's terrifying but beautiful at the same time."

 

Viktor is as loss for words as the overwhelming amount of confusion, adoration, hurt, panic, awe,  _longing_ -

 

He's shaken out of his reverie as he hears a strangled choke off the man, and he watches the man bite his lip feverishly as he lowers his head.

 

"And it hurts him. It hurts him so much that you can't remember the first time both of you danced, how both of you made history together, how you held his hand every time he was nervous." The man lets out a strangled choke again. "But he still loves you. He loves you more than he's ever loved you before, and he'll continue on loving you."

 

Viktor realizes he is crying. This man is crying in front of him.

 

He does not know why this man is crying in front of him.

 

"Why are you crying?" He asks, trying to make his voice as gentle as possible. "Is our relationship so deep it causes others pain too?"

 

Viktor sighs a little when the man doesn't answer, only shaking a little in his seat.

 

(he's already forgotten the way this man kissed his forehead just a few minutes ago)

 

"Where is he?" Viktor whispers, watching the tears catch in this man's lenses. "Where's my husband?"

 

The man tries to resolve himself, wiping his lenses and thumbing the tears away.

 

"He's... He's out." The man whispers out, finally ceasing from crying. "Sometimes you remember him, and he comes back. He comes back to you-"

 

"Until I forget again." Viktor finishes, voice strangely flat, and the man nods.

 

"How often do I forget?" He asks, a little curious.

 

"Sometimes you forget everything entirely, sometimes... sometimes you remember. But we're always here, Viktor. Your husband's always here." The man mutters, eyes soft and unwavering. "He's waiting for you to come back to him, he'll always be waiting."

 

Viktor thinks thoughtfully for a moment, eyes flickering to the golden ring around his finger.

 

But before he could say another word, a yawn escapes Viktor's mouth, and he feels his eyelids droop.

 

The man chuckles. "You're sleepy already? You just woke up..." He pushes the button again, and the bed starts to lie flat. Viktor whines.

 

"I don't... I don't wanna sleep. I wanna see him-" Viktor mumbles, fighting against the tiredness.

 

"You have to, the doctors said sleep is the best option for your weak body." The man says with a soft smile. Viktor frowns and he tries to sit up.

 

"Viktor, no." The man frowns when Viktor pouts and sits himself up.

 

"Okay, how about a deal okay?" The man says, and Viktor's back straightens. "If you... If you go to sleep and still... remember, then your husband will be here. He'll be here when you wake up, and he'll be here to give you food, is that okay?"

 

Viktor's eyes brighten, and he nods enthusiastically as he settles himself back unto the bed. The man smiles as he pulls the covers over his frail figure.

 

Viktor's eyes droop, seeing brown eyes before drifting off to sleep.

 

* * *

 

Viktor thinks of cardboard... and mesh wire.

 

Cardboard because that's what his eyelids felt like as he tried to pry them open. Mesh wire because his back felt like it's gone through hell and back repeatedly.

 

What does mesh wire have to do with hell, you may ask? Honestly, Viktor does not know either. Mesh wire  _could_ be pretty damn dangerous, come to think of it.

 

Something- no,  _someone_ besides him shifts and lets out a little groan due to Viktor's constant squirming. Viktor's eyes widened as he sees a figure, resting his arms and head on Viktor's bed, waking up. The cute man fists at one brown eye, blinking at him blearily.

 

"Viktor? Are you-"

 

"Who are you?"

**Author's Note:**

> hi back at it again with the angst
> 
> im sorry i keep writing sad shit okay
> 
> tumblr: trashqueencakes


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